Sunday, November 8, 2009

Vodka, Pie, Facebook, and the Sporfe

I will occasionally walk from my dorm room to my hall’s lobby. I might, say, feel thirsty and want to get a cold, refreshing beverage from the vending machine. Or perhaps I’m walking north (to an intervarsity large group meeting or to downtown or suchlike) and the quickest way is to cut through the lobby. Either way, as I’m walking there, I tend to peer into the windows I pass, out of the corner of my eye. I’m apparently a creeper or something.

The occupants of one such room I pass seems to use vodka bottles as their chief decorating medium. There is a little shelf above the stove and counter. In our room, we keep things like coffee, salt, pepper, Pam no-stick spray, and natural/organic dish washing liquid (because we are the environmentally friendly/awesome college student-type). On theirs, the occupants of this other room keep four or five empty vodka bottles. I could walk down there to count, but that would change my creeper status from “apparently a creeper or something” to “definitely a creeper”. On their windowsill – where one might cool a (very small) fresh-baked pie –

It would look very much like this, only about 4" in diameter, and
with really old slat blinds instead of lacy, gently wafting curtains.

there are two nearly full vodka bottles. Each has about a quarter gone.

I’m not here to put down their lifestyle, for the most part. I don’t drink – I’m only 19 and I’ve recently been tagged as “The Good Little Church Girl” in one of them facebook tag-your-friends thing –

Alison Humphreys

but I don’t usually have a problem with other people’s habits, especially if I don’t know anything about them.

I do, however, have a problem was the two bottles that are each three quarters full. Why crack open a new bottle of vodka when you’re not done with the first one? That’s just wasteful.

I was going to end this with a hilariously witty “There are sober children in” some developing land region, but couldn’t decide which one. So I did a google search to find out the people the mom in A Christmas Story used to guilt Randy into eating. So far as I can tell, she said “starving people would be happy to have that,”


but I couldn’t find any specific land region where those people are from.
I did, however, discover a T-shirt that said “Finish your beer. There are sober kids in India.”

Man, I feel original. What other hilariously witty things did I “make up” that have been around for ages? Do other people know that I’m horribly unoriginal?

Just a couple days ago, my dad and I came up with the “sporfe” – spoon, fork and knife in one – only to find out that it already exists.

In a variety of bright colors!

This has been a humbling weekend.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Long posts make up for lost time

Today is a work day. Like many work days, I didn’t much anything to do for the first hour or so. Some minor filing, but that’s it. I’m currently running on about four and a half hours of sleep (this is where I start grumbling about the people who live directly above us and their apparent love of riverdance) so I’ve yet to get the energy to start working on non-work things that are still important (i.e. homework and study guides and the like). Instead, I will spend time looking at things on the Internet.

I’m fairly ridiculously exhausted right now. My writing is even more rambling than usual.

Anyway, as you might now, I am a big fan of Relevant Media group. Especially the podcast, but I also subscribe to the magazine and peruse the website from time to time. I was actually doing this last thing just a little while ago. I was reading the archives of their Questions of the Day, and I came across this one from the beginning of September: What’s Your Favorite Random Site?

I had actually answered this one a while back. During that period I kept geeking out over how awesome the Caves of Lascaux are, so I posted the link to its interactive tour of the caves (which, incidentally, is http://www.lascaux.culture.fr/#/en/02_00.xml).

When I was reading the answers to this particular question-of-the-day, I came across this comment:

“http://www.aharef.info/static/htmlgraph/
input a site and then look at it. it's pointless.”

I didn't plan on checking that website out, but the comment directly under that said that that particular website “ IS AMAZING. You made my org's website BEAUTIFUL!”

So I decided to see what it was all about.

It’s a fairly simple page design: in big letters it says:

Webpages as Graphs

With a centered box directly under it, wherein one could input a site.

“What” (I thought) “shall I input? I don’t have a website. Oh yes, I have a blog.”

(Remember, of course, that I’m running on four and a half hours of sleep and my brain isn’t completely connected to the rest of me. Don't judge me.)

With a vague sense of trepidation, I typed into the box:

http://alison-alison-alison.blogspot.com/

and clicked “Show Me The Graph!”

It was a little bit anticlimactic, as instead of showing me the graph it took me to a loading page where it gave me the opportunity to partake in a short study about Swine Flu.

So I clicked “OK - Now show me the graph!” (but not after opening the swine flu study in a different window and taking the survey. It’s not graded, but if it was I woulda aced that baby)

I was expecting a typical line graph or something that I could copy and paste on my blog. Instead, there was a growing series of dots.


And then…wait, is that a flower?

You know, this actually is quite pretty.

The final result?


My pretty little blog is actually a pretty little vine with pretty little flowers.

You can find a key to what the colors mean at the webpage.

The author of this applet is a professor at Stanford who has several other really cool conceptual art projects going on, like 365 Special Days and One Thousand Paintings.
And once again: Webpages As Graphs

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I found this more interesting that it really is.

Firstly, check out the intern in this clip:




Secondly, refresh your memory of the past by looking at a clip of the Famous Jett Jackson:





They're totally the same person

Sunday, August 9, 2009

This probably is more frustrating than it should be, but Twitter only works sometimes for me. Sad, because it only stops working when I have something hilarious, witty, and/or poignant to say. I actually tried tweeting that, but it didn't work.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Regarding numbers, mostly.

So it has come to my attention that in the 56 days since I have added my counter, I have had 408 views of my blog. That's approximately 51 hits a week. So while I'm pretty sure that most of the "views" of my blog belong to spambots and myself, it's still more than my little heart dreamed of and I am glad to have it.

Incidentally, in the 56 since I have added my view counter and gotten 408 hits (most of which belong to spambots and myself), I've also gotten 3 comments - or approximately 3/8 of a comment per week.

This number seems remarkably low for the number of views I have been "getting."

It's like one in every one hundred thirty-sixth viewer (including myself and spambots) feels obliged to say something.

I don't care all too much if anyone comments. I don't write the type of thing that requires commenting at all. I think I'm quite boring and tend to get a little embarrassed whenever I find out someone reads my blog.

I just find it interesting.
56 days. 408* hits. 3 comments.
I'm just saying.


*(most of which belong to spambots and myself)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Want to see something really lame?

So I tend to go to the release parties for the Harry Potter books and the midnight premiere of the Harry Potter movies.

I was going to add "because I'm a total nerd" to that, but Harry Potter is very mainstream and, while a tad nerdy, is not unusual in the slightest.

Anyway, there is much less to do at the movie than at the book release. So we play board games. Every time a new one comes out, actually, we play Clue. However, this year we found ourselves without a working clue game. I still have the board from my youth, but we didn't have cards.

So I made some:







They are not quite done yet, as I still need to color in the room and weapon cards.

I also made some of them note-taking sheets, which turned out looking like nutritional fact sheets:



The part I had the most problem with was how to draw the revolver. It came to my attention that I have never drawn a gun before. After several failed attempts, I looked up how to draw a gun on the Internet. Most of the hits were about actually drawing guns, like in Old West Shoot Out scenarios. I would be pleased (as punch) if I never had to know how to do that.

I did happen upon this cute little tutorial, which caters to children:


to CHILDREN, man.
In the end, I went with:

Monday, July 6, 2009

Archaeology

As we're moving and all, I have been going through drawers and boxes and the like in my room and finding things that bring nostalgic smiles to my face.

For example, here is a promissory note I wrote and made Leah sign, when I leant her $25 to buy an Avenue Q t-shirt that time Avenue Q came to town. She really wanted to get the shirt and I really did not want to lend out my money as there have been several occasions where I did not get paid back. After some pressure from some parents, I relented. Before I gave her the money, she had to sign this:


I hereby pledge to return Alison's twenty-five dollars - borrowed this 21st day of July, 2007 - at the very first chance I get. If I ever get a job, my first paycheck will pay Alison back. If I ever get money as a gift, it will be used to pay Alison back. I will not buy anything else until I pay Alison back, unless I still have at least $25 after the purchase, with which I will pay Alison back.

Signed/Dated



It tickles me for some reason, though I can see why you crazy kids won't find it funny.
But I don't want to keep the note.
So I'm posting it here and throwing the original away.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Farewell (kind of) to Blogging

I haven’t been blogging as much since my school let off for summer.

There are much less obligations during the summertime. While I have tried very hard to find a job, no one seems to want to hire a mostly-unskilled kid, just off her first year of college, for a couple of months during a recession. Go figure. I have access to a TV with DVD player, DVR, and the like, which shuts down productivity greatly. I have the ability to sleep late every day. If I ask a friend if they want to do something, they probably won’t have class. I can go to the library pretty much whenever and I actually have time to read. While I do have a card for the public library in my college town, the several-mile walk is much less appealing in several feet of snow. I only checked out books from the public once during my last school year and I didn’t have time to read half of them. Now and again I would go to the much closer Barnes and Noble after class and read for an hour or so, and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I had a two-hour break in the morning where I could get breakfast and read, but that’s about it.

Now it’s summertime. I’m reading, watching TV, reuniting with high-school “besties,” etc. I don’t really blog anymore. I’m not reading as much news, finding humorous things on the internet, finding stupid little angsty things to complain about (and promptly delete), or anything of the nature. Earlier today, I started a post about how I have nothing to write – it’s come to that. (I didn’t end up publishing it – while it seemed clever in my head, I couldn’t really put it into words.)

During schooltime, I have free time where I can’t do anything. So I blog. I’m at work and no one has any projects for me. So, while I sit waiting for the phone to ring, I blog. I’m in my dorm room in the middle of the day, there’s nothing good on TV, and my friends all have class. So I blog.

In my first blog post here, I said that I “shall probably grow bored of it within the next few weeks and abandon it for months,” and that I tend to go through little phases of things I like to do. I feel this phase coming to an end, for the summer months at least. I will not abandon it completely, I don’t think. For one thing, I have another 18 days until I report my “25 Most Played Songs” on iTunes thing (see the first part of my last post). And I probably will start blogging again during my next school year. But for now, I think this could very well be (for the most part) goodbye.




Now that I’ve actually said that, I’ll probably start getting very inspired.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Four things of little interest

I have reset my iTunes playcount today and deleted my 25 Most Played playlist. In a month's time, I plan to recreate my 25 Most Played playlist and see what happens. Fun/Exciting.


I've been watching this over and over today. It's not exactly new, but it makes me laugh. I know people passing out isn't supposed to be funny, and I probably wouldn't laugh as much if my family - specifically, my mom - didn't do such a spot-on imitation of the guy. I personally start my compulsive giggling at about 15 seconds seconds in. "Now, pause it. Imma pass out." "...okay."


However, I find the comments on this video to be redundant/annoying. There's always at least one smart person who says something like "Glen Beck always makes me pass out." Hahaha. How very original/delightful.
(That's my attempt at sarcasm. I'm not very good at it)

I've also been getting into Espirit Cabane lately. It's cool look at, and I've copied their Fairy Lights idea. If I only had some real talent at crafty things, I would do more. As it is, I have aspirations of making earrings out of milk.

Finally, in my last blog, each little paragraph was less than 140 characters. Someone told me that that wasn't obvious. I thought it was clever.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Twelve Tweets

About 1 1/2 years ago I started liking this band. I became their friend on MySpace so I could see if they would tour in California anytime.

I came to realize that they sort of bother me. About 80% of the jokes they make aren't funny and their fanbase is mostly "tweenage" girls.

But still, their music isn't bad. A few of their songs have gotten criticism, but their next album has potential for magnificent growth.

I follow them on Twitter. I tend to follow people like crazy, though I've recently deleted the more boring/self-righteous people.

At first, they really struggled to fit within the 140 character limit. They used abbreviations and squished sentences together.

They started using TwitLonger (http://bit.ly/1xKqJf). This was the first time I had seen this service. (140 characters isn't enough!)

This service is unnecessary. If you can't fit within 140 characters, streamline it. You don't have to tweet about everything or elaborate.

If you can't do that, don't use twitter. Stick to Facebook. So I summed up my thoughts on this in 40 characters:

Pretty sure "twitlonger" is for pansies.

I was done with it until TwitLonger itself replied: "hmm. Interesting theory ;)."

Now I'm embarrassed and faced with a dilemma: Do I respond? I don't think I will. Something tells me they've already moved on.

So sorry TwitLonger. Your ideas are for pansies, but you're people too.

Friday, June 12, 2009

facebook.com/alison.alison.alison

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Alison Humphreys

I changed my blogger profile name from "Alison" to "Alison Humphreys" so I would be one of the first people to show up if I googled myself. After I did that, I actually did google myself. It didn't work.

So I googled "Alison Humphreys" Lunch and "Alison Humphreys" Narcissism and "Alison Humphreys" Everyone and so on. Didn't work.

I finally did a search for Everyone Cares What I Had For Lunch. The title of my blog, in case you didn't know, is a reference to Margaret Mason's blogging book called "No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog". I thought I was so clever naming my blog after a blogging book. Oh my, how clever I am.

Until I found out that there's another blog with the same name. It started 6 months before mine and is mostly pictures of the lady's kid. And she has six followers, which totally trumps my one.

So, you know, sad...

On the plus side, I've now used "Alison Humphreys" six times in this post and title, which may boost my standings.

Alison Humphreys



Here is an update from a day and a half later:
If you google "Alison Humphreys" (with quotes) this post is the last entry on the first page. I will file this under WIN.


Further Update: Never mind.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

catchy title

Hello friends,

So my dad sent in a "blurb" about me to Creekside Covenant Church in Redmond, WA, along with the ones about the rest of my family. He mentioned the URL to my blog in mine. Now it's likely that my view count will go up within the next week or so. I added a view counter! It has three hits, all of which are me. Let's see how it goes up.

Though I gave my father permission to give out my URL, I'm a bit worried, as my blog peaked in April. Since then, I have been writing about things that randomly run through my mind, usually late at night while I'm trying to sleep. Things I write then are not quite as funny as I think they are. So, Stranger, if you're reading this, I apologize. My dad said I was "witty", I think, but I'm thinking he's a little bit biased.

I'm very muchly looking forward to my upcoming trip to the greater Seattle area. I have my answers all practiced:
"Hi, I'm Alison."
"Nice to meet you too"
"Northern Arizona University"
"I'm double majoring in Sociology and Psychology"
"Yeah, I really like it a lot."

Fun! (And I do not mean that sarcastically. I'm not generally one for sarcasm, really.)

On a side note, Joann and Zack and I are making Shu Mai. Here are pictures:





<3!,etc.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Coming out of the "nerd closet"*

ZOMG I IS LVL 80!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111



So, you know, "woot" &etc.


*I'm not sure how much I'm "coming out" as a nerd, seeing as at least 4 out of my 6 readers already knew I played World of Warcraft.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Things I Lie Awake Thinking About

I've devised a test so that one can know what generation they belong to. It's a fairly unhelpful test, as one can generally tell which generation he or she belongs to by, say, checking his or her birth certificate. It also only distinguishes between two generations: mine and my parents'.
And here it is!

Finish the lyric:
"I wonder, wonder who, who-oo-ooh, who..."


If you answered "who wrote the book of love?" you are in my parents' generation.
If you answered "what's in a wonder ball?" you are in mine.

This test really works better vocally.


vs

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Things I've downloaded on a whim that work out very well.

The StumbleUpon Toolbar.

Much boredom that would have been spent playing mindless games on the Internets are now spent perusing pseudo-intelligent and interesting websites. Right now I'm taken with a website of nature photography, particularly the bird section. I very much like birds.



http://www.grguy.net/2006-Ind-Lorikeets.jpg

Friday, May 22, 2009

Ways My Mind Works When I'm Tired

I got an email with the subject line "Reverse Signs of Aging" and got really excited. Have they made some sort of breakthrough in gerontology? That's so cool!

Then I realized it was just an ad for an anti-wrinkle cream.

Never mind.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ah, young love

I have a friend (more of an acquaintance) who lives about 220 miles away from her boyfriend. While they are able to see each other every day at school, the summer months promise to be unbearable for these lovebirds. As a result, she created a facebook album where she will upload a new picture of her from that day so he can see her.
Every picture is the same - same hairstyle, same expression, same room, etc - all but her clothes are static.

She posts a caption like "Day 4: "If my team loses I'll be mean all night, if you tell me to relax we will get in a fight"... I hate the Rockets. I also miss singing that with you. Love you."
And he posts a comment like "best one yet. you look so pretty"


It's all a bit sickening, really. Nice kids though.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Thoughts from under a twin-sized bed.

Oh, I forgot I had this.

So that's where all my sharpies went.

Oh cool, my lost earrings. I was looking for those. Don't see that one earring that people tend to complement me on, though. How sad. I was hoping to find that. I like complements. They make my insides go all gooey with <3!


Under-the-bed pictures are rather uncomfortable.
I'm not choking myself, but rather am attempting to hold my hair out of my eyes.

I wasn't under the bed when I wrote this, just so you know. But I did crawl back under for picture takings. I wonder what that says about me.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Post-procrastination blog. Not funny. You can ignore this one as well.

I finished my paper a couple of hours ago. It's in Interview Talk Show Format. Not very creative (I'm pretty sure about 75% of my class is doing it this way) but it works. I'm not going to post the entire thing here, due to it getting very long and dry and about theories and stuff (which I personally find fascinating, but I am a "nerd"). But here's the first part, which is kind of funny, maybe.

BB: Hello, and welcome to “That Sounds Interesting!”, America’s eleventh most popular talk show! I’m your host, Bernice Barnes. Today, we will be discussing the topic of Body Modification. This will be a very special show, as all of our guests will be joining us from beyond the grave! Please welcome sociologists, Jean Baudrillard…

JB: Hello.

BB: … Michel Foucault…

MF: [nods]

BB: … and George Herbert Mead.

GM: Happy to be here, Bernice.

-----
It's the "beyond the grave" part that just tickles me. In my mind, the talk show host is that squeaky woman from Office Space. "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina Speaking. Just a moment."
Blank

Yeah, like that.

Well, my neighbor has finished yelling at her ex-boyfriend on the phone and is now readjusting those large wooden letters that hang on her side of the wall we share. (I'm assuming her initials, but I cannot remember what they are right now. I only ever see them when I'm walking to my room and their door is open.) Soothing sounds - like the mice crawling through the walls at home. Must be sleepytime.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Things that bother me #2:

Super religious conversion spam disguised as blog comments.


Me: Oh look, I have a comment! Someone loves me! I feel totally validated!

Comment (written by someone called "h" whose profile doesn't even exist): Do you want to know the truths about Jesus? Here is practically an essay filled with propaganda that mixes Christianity and Islam in a way that isn't accurate with either religion and sounds like it was written in a different language and then messily translated.


So I delete it and, hurt, crawl away to complain in a blog. (Perhaps this should be called "Baby's second complainy blog"?)


Laura Marling has a pretty voice.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lessons

Today we have learned three things:

1) If you let yourself believe that, as the past week or so has been beautiful and sunny with little wind, it’s finally safe/warm enough to wear a dress without the weather freaking out on you, it will be overcast, hot/muggy, and windy the day you wear it. (The Weather Underground – the weather service, not the terrorist organization – says it’s currently 72 degrees and clear skies. The Weather Underground lies)

2) If you are systematically going through a bunch of old files, shredding the papers with personal information on it, and throwing everything else in the recycling dumpster, it is not more efficient to fill your trash box up all the way with paper and using the dolly to cart it out instead of filling the box halfway and carrying it. This is especially true if it is windy outside.

3) You look quite stupid yelling at pieces of paper while you chase them around a parking lot.

(But on the whole, it’s been a good day.)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Oh the eighties. (/ Late 70s)

"Hey, is stormtrooper one or two words*? I need it for an essay."
I realized that I never had that problem before.

I'm doing this massive research paper on how, from its inception, the Arthurian legend has been shaped by current events, which in turn affect the stories that follow. In my rough draft, during my segment on Excalibur, I mentioned how the shiny shiny shiny armor is reminiscent of the Cylons in Battlestar Galactica. My teacher mentioned how it's more likely that they were trying to imitate the stormtroopers from Star Wars.

Now that we pretty much have our papers done, we'll be spending the last two weeks of class looking at Arthur in TV shows, specifically Babylon 5, Dr. Who, and Merlin.
This is a fun class :)










*Only one

Things that make me giggle with delight:

Cold War Unicorns Play Set!





"The Cold War Unicorns Play Set allows you to play out the intense struggle between two global superpowers in the majestic fantasy world of the Unicorn! Can the Communist Unicorn’s horn of classless social structure hold up against the Freedom Unicorn’s hooves of capitalist opportunity?"



It works, I think.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Baby's First Complainy Blog

I'm far, far too tired to find something awesome on the internet and post it here with hilarious commentary. Instead, I choose to complain about something disappointing that happened to me today.

Freshmen and Sophomores have to sign up for housing in person. This is weird to me because Juniors and Seniors get to do it online. I understand why upcoming freshmen have to do this, but surely upcoming sophomores (such as myself) know a little bit about the dorms and whatnot so that they can register themselves. All we did was fill out a form and give it to the lady.

For in-person registration, you must come in at a certain time by, as determined by your last name. They decided to mix it up, so H (the first letter of my last name) was in the last section of the last day.

By the time I got there, they had run out of rooms.
I'm guaranteed a room, but they don't know where. I'll find out sometime between May 31 and June 15. I'm very disappointed.
I just hope I get into one of my top 3 (Roseberry, Gillenwater, McDonald) and not Cowden or Tinsley. Especially not Cowden. Morton would be ok. Tinsley wouldn't be that bad, I don't think. I have friends there.
Just not Cowden. I'm looking forward to having a sink.

On the plus side, I'm listening to the Unicorns and three people have told me that they would read my blog. Thank you, parents and roommate!

x

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A little bird told me.

Looking up the Bluebird of Happiness on the Wikipedia:
"A mythological Korean bluebird has similar symbolic meanings. Yet the bird also operates as a kind of metaphysical operative for the gods by flitting around and spying on the activities of mortals. This is reflected in the English colloquialism "A little bird told me.""

And so I looked up that phrase, and many believe it has Biblical origins:
Eccls 10:20
Do not revile the king even in your thoughts,
or curse the rich in your bedroom,
because a bird of the air may carry your words,
and a bird on the wing may report what you say.

Phrase Origins are fun!

I am Supreme Ruler! of a mediocre government section.

While at work in the morning, there is rarely a project or anything I have to work on, so I read the news online.

The first headline today was “US to name 'border czar' to watch Mexican border (AP)”

I like to think that the border czar is some crotchety old man who sits on a rocking chair by the border and shakes his fist at people. “Hey you kids, get off my country.


I also think it’s weird that czar is a legitimate position in our government now.


Drug Emperor

Car King

Technology Sultan

E-Government Overlord



In other news, I'm quite hungry.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

This isn't as interesting outside my head.

That won't be a problem, as I'm the only one who reads it...
Anyways,

My roommate knows me too well. This is a conversation we had about three minutes ago:

EMILY: haha. Okay, you have to see this.
ALISON: meh. I have the computer on me.
EMILY: It's got baby animals!
And I was there for less than a second, for this lovely picture:


(Baby platypuses/platypi/? look like puggles with a duck bills.)

This made me realize the power baby animals have over me. I fear the following scenarios:
1) Want to go into the sewer/sinister cave/serial killer's death freezer with me? There will be kittens!
2) Don't mind this evil dictator intent on taking over the world. He has a baby turtle/donkey/gosling!
3) If you kill a man for me, I will give you a baby giraffe/zebra/panda.

I'm sure there are more examples I could think up, but right now my brain isn't working. I think I'm going to post some baby animal pictures. Because I have the same mind as a twelve year old girl.








Monday, April 13, 2009

Freedom Eagle!

I was playing with the Hero Machine, as I am tend to do, and came up with the Freedom Eagle, inspired by John Allison, of Scary-Go-Round and Bobbins fame.

I'm a fan.
You will notice that he is regal. He being the Freedom Eagle. Not John Allison. I mean, he could be regal. I don't know. I've never met him.


Fun fact that I learned from the wikipedia:

Uncle Sam is probably based on Samuel Wilson, who was a resident of Troy, NY.

"At the time of the War of 1812, Samuel Wilson was a prosperous middle-aged meat-packer in Troy. He obtained a contract to supply beef to the Army in its campaign further north, which he shipped in barrels. The barrels, being government property, were branded with the initials "U.S.", but the teamsters and soldiers would joke that the initials referred to "Uncle Sam", who supplied the product. Over time, it is believed, anything marked with the same initials (as much Army property was) also became linked with his name."

And then he died and was buried in Troy, I guess.

It's sort of sad that our big patriot was just some guy with a meat contract.
(Uncle Sam want you! to buy some steak from him.)

Arts 'n crafts 'n stuffs.

Sometimes I pretend I'm good at photography and fireworks and drawing and stuff. And then I put my pictures and whatnot on the internet and pretend to be an artist.

And so:
http://alisonhumphreys.deviantart.com/

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Tale of Little Henry, the Unusual Elephant

I was looking through old files on my computer and came across this old children’s story I wrote in about, oh, ‘ought seven or sometime. I decided I would repost it here, for fun’s sake. Some of the writing's a little stilted, but it was two year ago. You will notice that it is inspiring.

And don't say anything mean. It's kind of like my ugly but gifted child.



The Tale of Little Henry, the Unusual Elephant

Little Henry the elephant was a very happy little elephant. He lived in a tropical paradise resplendent with all sorts of beautiful foliage. Little Henry the elephant was a nomadic creature, and would travel along the river while the big yellow moon smiled down at him.

Little Henry the elephant was a very unusual little elephant. Rather than being covered with gray all over, Little Henry was blue, and had red on the inside of his ears and purple tusks and toes. Little Henry was blissfully unaware of his abnormal appearance, as he had never met any other elephants before. He didn’t even know that other elephants existed! He just continued traveling along the river, with the big yellow moon smiling down on him.

Little Henry the elephant traveled to places he had never ever been to meet animals he had never ever seen. One day, Little Henry’s journey brought him to a clearing filled with a herd of elephants. Their sudden appearance shocked Little Henry. Why, he was unaware that any other elephants existed. Furthermore, the new elephants looked altogether different from Little Henry. They were gray all over, and their tusks were white, not purple. Despite their differences, Little Henry attempted to become friends with the new elephants. The new elephants would have none of it; Little Henry was too unique. They called him a freak and sent him on his way.

Little Henry the elephant was a very lonely little elephant. After all, who wants to be friends with a blue and red and purple elephant? Little Henry was contemplating his eventual fate – a life doomed to wandering by the river, sad and alone – when he heard a cry for help. Little Henry went to investigate. In some sort of freak accident, a baby elephant was trapped under a large boulder! None of the “normal” elephants were strong enough to lift it. The big yellow moon smiled down as they stood helplessly by, watching their young companion undergo a long and painful death by squishing

Little Henry the elephant was a very strong little elephant, although his name and physique would suggest otherwise. He knew he would be able to lift the boulder and save the young gray elephant. Little Henry’s thoughts did not turn to how the other elephants had wronged him. It was focused solely on the baby who needed help.

Little Henry the elephant became a very heroic little elephant. With all of his strength, he hoisted the boulder over his head, freeing Baby Elephant! All the normal elephants cheered Little Henry. They forgot their differences and accepted him. Little Henry the elephant had a family at last. He was blissfully happy as the big yellow moon smiled down.

Unfortunately, the boulder grew too heavy for Little Henry, and came tumbling down, killing him instantly.

The End

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Mouthwatering

I dream of a dinner comprised of jellies.

We will begin with a lovely salad:
, followed by some delicious (yet healthy!) vegetables:
.

After this comes the main course: jellied meat!


and finally, dessert:




Barring that, I would like to have a dinner where we have a sandwich that looks like a cake followed by a cake that looks like a sandwich.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Also, I didn't die of sickness.

My 12-year-old cousin has a MySpace. She updates her status frequently, but always keeps the same mood: emmett cullen.

Emmett Cullen is not a mood.
That is all.

EDIT: Today her mood was different: edward cullen.

Edward Cullen is not a mood either.
That is all once more.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Sad!

I am dying of sickness.

According to Web MD symptom checker, it's either tuberculosis, bronchitis, or the common cold.

I will try to pull through, but I might not make it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Immortalizing

I made a dancing giraffe named GIRAFFI and do not wish to lose him. Here's the link, so I don't have to.


http://roxik.com/pictaps/?pid=a1971148

There's also this:

But it tends to cut off the nose of my darling giraffi.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Dear America,

Larry the Cable Guy isn't funny. Stop giving him money.

Love,
Alison

Obligatory "I made a blog!" Post

I made a blog!
Here you can read about whatever I am currently thinking.

I fully expect no one to ever read it. That's ok, though. I could totally use MySpace and Facebook for things I want read. I just have been reading blogs lately, which makes me wish to make my own. I also tend to have thoughts in my head that must be written down, lest they drive me insane.

That being said, I shall probably grow bored of it within the next few weeks and abandon it for months. I go in phases like this, see. It used to be journaling, but I haven't written in that for like a year or so.


Ok. That is all.