Perhaps I am exaggerating. Perhaps.
I am sick.
This is a big deal for me. I am quite the hypochondriac so when I actually get some kind of illness it's somewhat surreal. I get all melodramatic and Woe-Is-Me and make a Sick Fort. (A sick fort, incidentally, is what happens when the bottom bunk bed meets an extra pair of sheets.) It's kind of nice, minus the pain and discomfort.
This particular illness is kind of weird. Some sort of bacterial stomach infection.
Before I go further, I'd like to share with the people I interact with on a daily basis that I am not contagious.
Most of the time I feel perfectly fine. Maybe a little queasy, but nothing horrible. But then, all of a sudden I think to myself Hmm, I'm about to throw up. And then I spend some time with some sudden, stabby pains and throw up a couple of times and moan and feel miserable and apologize to anyone in the vicinity.
Each time it happens it's a little better. The first time I couldn't move or stay still (which leads to quite the predicament) and was seriously considering the emergency room. It lasted hours. The second time lasted about 45 minutes. Right now it's been about 10 minutes and I already am feeling very much better. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to complain about it right now. Milk your sympathies a bit.
I'm almost feeling better. Until then, I'm going to brush my teeth again, wallow in my sick fort, watch a vampire TV show where the vampires are actually the bad guys and make up a song to the tune of Peter Pan's I Won't Grow Up, called (originally enough) I Won't Throw Up.