Friday, October 28, 2011

Super Powers

People often ask me, “Alison, if you had a superpower, what would it be?”

Ok, that’s not actually a question I get asked often. But I’ve been asked it before and I think about it a great deal.

My go-to answer is “There was this X-man who could read, write, and speak any language. That’d be pretty neat.” And it would be pretty neat. I’d like to be omnilingual. Be able to translate human, alien, nonverbal, and computer languages at will. Sweet. But the superpower I daydream about the most is different.

Here’s some background information:
I work on the second floor of a long, thin two-story building. The second and third floors are smaller than the first floor, with balconies that open up to the entire building.

Here’s a picture:

I work around halfway down the second floor. So when it’s time for me to go downstairs, I daydream about floating. What if I could just hop off the balcony and float to the bottom? I have the same thought pretty much whenever I have to go down stairs. What if I could do away with this stair nonsense and just float to where I need? I would save so much time.

Sometimes I tell people this and they ask me why I don’t just wish for flight? Surely that would be more useful than floating. And the answer to that is that I don’t know.

In conclusion:
I’ve used the Hero Machine Superhero Generator 2.5 to make a (patriotic!) visual representation of my superhero identity: The Floater. (Yeah, that’s kind of a gross name.) Gravity has a limited effect on me.

Also, I have a pony!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

It's hard to breathe in Disney Land

I've had Pocahontas' "Paint With All The Colors of the Wind" stuck in my mind for quite some time now. I've been delighting (or annoying) my wonderful roommates by randomly bursting out with it.

How hiiiigh can the sycamore grow? If you cut it down you will never knowwwwww.

Pocahontas obviously grew up in the pre-Wikipedia era, because a simple search reveals that the American Sycamore (platanus occidentalis) typically grows up to 30-40 meters. 

While I was singing this I recalled that the colors of the wind she was referring to were leaves:

It made me realize that there's always stuff randomly floating in the air in Disney movies.
And by "always" I mean "in at least one other movie:"

Simba is alive?
I'm sure there are other movies with random debris floating through the air, but I'm afraid I can't be bothered to do a great deal of research about it.

I am, however, concerned with the vast amount of pixie dust floating around the land of Disney.

I wonder if anyone developed a breathing condition, with all the magic floating around.