Thursday, February 16, 2012

In which I come off like a curmudgeon

I am rather fond of Pinterest. If you don't know what Pinterest is, you should read my friend Stephanie's blog post. (And while you're there, you should read other posts because she is fantastic and clever and does not make grammatical errors.)

On Pinterest, I will unfollow almost every board that is either: a) wedding-based, when one has no wedding on the horizon, or b) quote-based. 

I will continue following a wedding or quote-based board if they are exceedingly clever and I'm fond of the pinner's tastes. If you are reading this, you probably fall under this exception. (Do you see how I saved myself there?)

I don't like wedding or quotes-based boards for several reasons. Primarily, people with these kinds of boards often will not stop pinning until every inch of my main screen is covered with these subjects. 

Also, a lot of quotes-based pins seem to cheapen my religion and cheesify everything I believe in, while simultaneously make me feel bad for scoffing at these things. FOR EXAMPLE:


Also, a lot of quotes-based pins are oddly defensive:


But perhaps my least favorite aspect of Pinterest is the unsettling idealization of Perfect Relationships and the Perfect Man. Seeing things like this can sometimes point out to me how different I am from the general population. This makes me feel inferior and superior in equal measure. But the Perfect Man described in these posts seem rather annoying to me.  

Take this Pinterest image, for example:

Here is what's wrong with that:
  • I do not like when people use asterisks as bullet points. (I also do not like when people pronounce asterisks as asterix, but that does not relate to our subject.)
  • Everyone goes into the rain. That is a surprisingly low standard.
  • People - not just men, but all people - who don't let their loved ones sing along to the radio are jerks.
  • "Start play-fights with me - with water, or food, or pillows, or anything." I, personally, dislike fighting. Play or otherwise. Fighting is both stressful and bad. (Except for Alaskan leg wrestling, which is phenomenal.)
  • I don't really want to wear men's clothing. 
  • Shutting people up is rude, even with kissing. 
  • When people call people babe, I think of bros. When people call people darling, I think of people who are desperately clinging to the late 1800s. Darling might be better than babe, but also not really. 
  • When I say I'm fine I actually am fine, usually. I'm tired of the "girls lie when asked their feelings!" stereotype, because it isn't actually accurate.
In conclusion, when faced with the Perfect Man described above, he would be annoying. Even if one finds every one of those above traits desirable, I doubt one would like him. Because when one posts things like that, one is not looking for a real person. One is looking for an ideal. And ideals - while great inside your head - would get extremely tiresome. You would leave them, until one day they hunt you down and try to get you to love them again, while severely hurting people in the process. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Pinterest might lead to robot attacks.


  1. Your curmudgeoneyness makes my heart smile. You're fun.

  2. Alison, I love your blog. I am pretty sure I laughed out loud about 4 times while reading this. You are so great and I am a fan.